Stupid Thought

Hey there. I'm back. Okay, I'm going to write about him and my uni life. Here we go, I'm not SINGLE anymore! What??? Seriously, I made him falling in love with me in three weeks only with my silly talks and jokes. How could it be? I don't know what is happening. Suddenly, he said he likes me.*Blushing + Happy*

The things he said to me.

"I like you because your matured thinking, funny,understanding and good listener. You make me laugh and help me to forget my problem. You light up my days with silly jokes and never get tired  bored with me."

There's a lot sweet talk he said to me and I write down everything in my little note book. I appreciate everything what he said to me and I thought that he is the man I waiting for. But I was wrong. I'm totally out of my mind at that time. I also thought that it was a right time for me to have a boyfriend. Then, I agreed to be his girlfriend. I can't tell you guys how happy I am at that time. Before this, I never felt like that and its was awesome to fall in loved with someone. I'm totally crazy about him. I still remember, he always called me at midnight and we have a long conversation. Its was great and nice to talk with him. For the first time I have a real date. At first, I feel awkward then I try so hard to act normal and finally we did get off the awkward moment. He holding my hand like i'm the only women he ever had. He had kiss my forehead before I leave and give me a true  love that i never thought I could get from him. Its was a wonderful moment i ever had in my life. He very straight to the point and honest about his feeling towards me. I can felt it. He was a wonderful guy I ever knew. I still can count how many times we met. 

Until the day comes, i have to leave him alone in that island. He fetch me and send me off by himself. I feel sorry for him. For the last, he kiss my cheek and hugging me with all his heart. I miss him so much. We have to separate for a while. One month i didn't see his face, I feel like i'm dying and empty. I miss every moment we cherish together. Then, he felt the same. Next month he promised to me that he going to see me and introduce his family. I'm totally nervous and scared. I never knew thing happened very fast. He came and visit me. Then, he introduce me to his beloved mum a.k.a grandma. She's was very nice and warm person. I also have an opportunity to get along with his step sister and his big bos, which is his dad. I'm totally nervous and act awkward. I keep smiling and laugh when his father talking with me. *very shy & feel uncomfortable* I have a got time with his family. 

Besides that, I also have the opportunity to visit his grandma house. I'm having my dinner at his place and I felt like to cry because the environment totally different. I can feel how's his grandma mean a lot to him. There's a story behind of it. But, I don't wanna talk about it. Its very sad story. Then, he send me home and we kissed. It very fast kiss i ever did and it really meant something to me. The next day, we meet again and having our dinner at McDonald. We do our things which talking about our current life and his work. Then, we off to Jesselton and have a walk. That's night was a perfect night for us to be together. Then, he send me home as usual. The next day, I meet with his closed cousin at the Bed. Its a pub! OMG!,for the first time in my life he drag me to his world. I'm totally scared and feel uneasy to be there. He introduce me his cousin and we have fun on that night. I'm totally drunk and dance like never did before. He also surprised about my behavior. Then, for the first time we kissed in front of a lots of people. I'm also surprised about myself. That's night was a wild night ever happened in my life. Young, free and wild. Hell no!!

His holiday is end. He have to go back work and I have to focus on my things to. Once again, we have to separate. I have to wait for another one month to meet him. But, we cannot make it anymore because our relationship is over. I felt sorry to him and also myself. Because of my silly decision, I'm losing him. But, its okay. I in believe God that he have a new plan for me. We're not belong each other. God send he to enter my life for a reason. And I have to faced the truth that's our relationship is over. At the same time, I learned something from this relationship. Trust no one and beware of silly thing can happen to us if you don't take care yourself. Always watch your back and reflect it. Last but not least, don't lose your virginity to someone who doesn't deserve it. Take care yourself and never fell with their sweet talk. You might lose something precious in you life. And always remember, God always be there if you're in trouble.

Lesson to myself: 

If you really wanna have a partner, make sure you ready and confident about your decision. 

Don't regret after you made up your mind.

Love,

Silon love herself.